Where Will This Lead Me?

I don't know what' going to happen in my life?
Am I going to apply to the 2 prospect jobs that I saw last week?
Was it the right job for me that will also suits my family?
Money changes everything.... I think it's true.
When I don't have money, I feel so stressed out and will get freaky grumpy for a day or two.
Help me Lord! I know this is one of you trials.

I Hate New Zealand

New Zealand is where my hopes end.

This is how I feel in this cursed land of the long white clouds:

unlucky
failure
regret
ignored
discriminated
isolated
and many more
all negative words you can find, that is New Zealand.

This is truly where my hope, my dreams, my future ends... Good luck to me and hello doomed life!

I Miss You!

I Miss You today while listening to Nickelback's So Far Away.

Second Language Teaching

I never thought Second Language Teaching course could be very difficult and it made the course even worse because of my bitchy professor. F@ck her, I want to crumble her face up into tiny bit pieces. All her comments in my assignments are not favorable. Why was I so stupid not to answer the questions right? Damn!!! Is she just freaking pretending she's a lot smarter than us that's why she's commenting in a way that our answers were not enough for her and not within her standards? Fuck her standards!!! I regretted to take this course, I don't need it anyway. Why in a world did I ever thought of taking this course? What's with me? Argh!

We even had a small argument regarding the final exam. She's so stupid not to analyze things accordingly. Who's smarter now, Bitch?

I am Stupid

I do not know how to react... I do not know what to say... Did I expect this to happen or did I not expect it at all? After what happened on Wednesday, I knew I didn't make it .

I wanted to have a job so I could help with the finances here in the house and so I could  help my family in the Philippines as well but if I'm not going to be given a chance then how will I be able to do all these? Is this the KARMA that I am facing right now? This is the second time I got rejected from a job application this year, I do not know what happened. Does my charisma just vanished? Was I not enthusiastic with the job that I am applying for? Or is it because I am really stupid?

I hate myself for being so dumb during the interview. Why didn't I get to answer those questions? Or if I did, what did I say wrong? Did I answer the questions logically? What is it with me? I am so stupid, freaking idiot!!! Those were just simple questions but I didn't get to answer it confidently and appropriately. My Gawd, what is happening to me? Is this the punishment I have to experience so that I could value my work next time? I have no idea what it is? But I am not questioning God, I am questioning myself!!!

I can't take rejections very well... I cannot take this... I really wanted the job but they don't want me... Stupid, stupid, stupid bitch! :-(

Sudden Depression

I felt a sudden depression after revealing my High School crushes. I have been actively participating OLSHS group for 3 days now, procastinating every comment to make me reveal my crushes. But this morning, I have decided to come out and reveal my 2 crushes, although these Elementary and HS crushes were my ex boyfriends. It was just so funny to exchange comments with someone you haven't talked to in your life but discovered that you have certain connections with them and came to realize that you were able to make them laugh.

Do I really love to be on the limelight all the time? Am I an attetion-seeker type of person? Or am I just really friendly? Or was it because I have no friends here in New Zealand that's why I tend to communicate with my colleageues more often on Facebook.

Whatever it is... I feel sad all of a sudden... I was wondering... what could be their reaction if they find out that they're my crushes... sigh... I don't know... I feel like I have no one to talk to so I just blog about this. I just hope that this sadness is just due to my restlessness. I  still have 2 homeworks to do and I have to prepare for  my very special guests who will visit us tomorrow and will be with us for 3 days.

Note to self: This sadness will pass soon... :-(

Scientific Name of White Mouse: Mus Musculus (Dagang Costa)

I was about to read my module in Second Language Teaching course when I was engaged in commenting to OLSHS group via Facebook. It was so fun exchanging comments with High School friends about "crush" LOL! They were unsuccessful to make me say mine and I don't have the intention to shout it out LOL!

Instead, I had a private conversation with my good friend Tinz ;-) A secret crush code name: ICED TEA was revealed and love story was told, especially the first ones and the unforgettable ones. Dagang Costa is how we call our exes' gf's... coz they look like one LMAO! Mus Musculus aka with initials VDC hahaha!

It was awesome talking to Tinz, it's so Kilig, hihihi! I had a great time spending my early morning with her even if I still have lots of pages to read huh!